Having children is stressful enough and you hardly get any time for yourself. But throw caring for aging parents into that and you get something only Prozac can help with. Your toddler is screaming because their favorite toy is missing, your teenager needs help with their school project, and you also need to take your father to his doctor’s appointment.
Oh, and don’t forget that you also have a regular 9-5, so if you get enough time to take a shower, you’ll be over the moon. Unless you find a way to breathe and slow down for a second in this chaos, you’ll end up emotionally exhausted/burned out. Everybody counts on you, but it’s hard to give your best when you’re running on empty.
Keep reading and we’ll share some tips on how to find balance when you’re everybody’s go-to person.
Time Management
Juggling too many balls at once is never a good idea and, whether you like it or not, some of those balls will hit the ground sooner or later. If you don’t have a schedule of some sort, you’ll be extremely overwhelmed and nobody will get enough attention from you.
Let’s see how to make this easier.
Plan Ahead
A packed schedule needs a plan to work, so start doing one every week. It will help you visualize your responsibilities and it will be easier to allocate time appropriately. First and foremost, tackle the high-priority tasks and evaluate which activities can be assigned to someone else or deferred.
Meal preparation will be considered a task of more importance than any other non-time-critical task, for that matter. Use shared calendars, coordination applications, and other similar devices to ensure that every member of the team is constantly updated.
Establish a Support Network
Every single task doesn’t have to be tackled by you alone. You may consider reaching out to your spouse, your siblings or even cousins and friends. They can take a chunk of the burden/workload. They can assist in picking up your children from school, and taking the parents to see the doctor. Basically, they can help you with any other duty that doesn’t require YOUR particular attention.
This way, you won’t be spread too thin. There are also local caregivers and volunteers that can help you.
Outsource When You Need To
Sometimes, the only thing to do is to outsource because you physically can’t do it all and stay sane. Professional caregivers are an option, and so is a nursing home for your parents.
Of course, do your research on nursing homes and make sure you find a quality one and avoid ones with issues/violations. For instance, cases like those with ProMedica Senior Care medication and negligence violations serve as a good reminder of what happens when you don’t do your homework. Important decisions should never be made in haste.
As far as your kids go, there’s always daycare or after-school programs that will give them structure, and also allow you to catch your breath.
Make Family a Priority
In the midst of all of this turmoil, don’t forget to make your family a priority and stay together as a family. Of course, this sounds obvious. But, unfortunately, it’s very too often overlooked and set aside exactly because it’s so obvious that no one would think that this could even happen. But in reality, it can, and it requires work and dedication to ensure it doesn’t. T
his is as important for them as it is for you. Game nights (board games, party games, card games, etc.) and family outings are great for stress relief and bonding. You can even have storytelling evenings with grandparents, where they share their experiences with your kids.
How to Take Care of Yourself and Your Mental Health
You know how, when a plane starts going down, you’re supposed to put the oxygen mask on your face and then your child’s? Well, if you don’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of anyone else?
Your mental health has to be up there on your list of priorities, and you need to set clear boundaries with people. Learn to say no sometimes and save some time for yourself. Eat regularly, which should go without saying, but when you’re taking care of everyone but yourself, you simply forget to eat. Watch a show, go for a walk, read a book, or go to dinner with friends.
Even a simple 10-minute stroll or a quick yoga session can create a positive impact on your physical health, and it won’t take up much of your free energy.
Remember that it’s necessary to understand when you need to seek external assistance from experts. So if you feel that there’s something wrong, don’t just stay quiet and hope that everything’s going to work out. Seek a therapist counselor – they are there for you, for your mental help and they CAN make a difference. Trust in the process, and you’re bound to see positive results/outcomes.
Conclusion
Striking a balance does not imply a need for everyone to be served optimally and equally. It’s more about knowing what you can do and what you cannot do, and acting accordingly. There’s no need for you to be a superhero to each and every one. Not only is there no need, but you actually should actively avoid doing so. There’s no point, and it isn’t sustainable. Not in the long run, anyway. Unless you take care of yourself first, you won’t be of much help to others, plus you’ll suffer burnout, which is neither pleasant nor is it healthy.
Break down your tasks, plan your time accordingly, organize yourself, and don’t drown in the process. In case your schedule doesn’t allow for a 10-minute walk (simply for the sake of your mind), reschedule to create the time. Mental health isn’t a privilege; it’s a necessity. And once you start neglecting it, it’s hard to get it back.
