People have their standards of what constitutes a good parent and how to teach children essential morals in life. There’s no one-size-fits-all method to parenting, but being honest and open with your little humans is hands-down the golden rule of raising kids. Your child needs to find you a safe place to be inquiring, open and vulnerable. It can feel scary to change your methods of communicating, but it’s often well worth it.
Building Trust
Trust between you and your kid is everything. You’ll be the one they turn to when they need you, so you can fulfill your job of being a parent effectively and without a whole lot of trouble. You don’t have to fear that they are lying, withholding something from you. They won’t need to worry that you’re going to punish them for speaking the truth to you. Kids will screw up, particularly as they mature and go through the inevitable puberty drama. Having a stable and dependable parent to guide you through all of that is critical.
Improving Mental Health
Children are experiencing everything at a rapid pace, often for the first time. Juggling academia, social lives, home life, and extracurricular activities can be extremely overwhelming. When you’re a trustworthy shoulder for your child, open communication helps them admit when they’re overwhelmed or struggling with their mental health. When their honesty and communication are met with a positive and productive response, they will feel supported and accepted, rather than judged and punished. A positive parental relationship significantly boosts your child’s mental health, reducing the prevalence of anxiety, depression, and other conditions.
Protecting Your Child
Being open and honest consistently with your child opens up new ways to protect them. You won’t be left wondering whether they are being bullied or if an adult is misbehaving around them. They will tell you if they’re hot for someone or if they’re feeling down in the dumps. To keep your child safe, both physically and emotionally, you must first know what is happening in their life. If you ever have to report bullying or discuss behavior with another parent, you’ll have the upper hand of facts on your side and time on your side.
Do you want to be the first to know what’s happening in your child’s life? Being the first to know might even be enough to help you prevent some extremely detrimental events—physical or sexual abuse, drug experimentation. If the time comes to report drug exchanges to the police or to file a sexual abuse lawsuit, your child can also be a valuable witness.
Reducing Bad Behavior
Peer pressure and experimentation are tantalizing forces that can catch your child’s eye. If they have an open and honest relationship with a parent, they won’t know simply that they shouldn’t do risky things but will also know why and have knowledge of potential ramifications. Kids, particularly teenagers, are less apt to absorb a condescending lecture. Maybe they listen when they’re speaking to you openly and honestly — you become a source of support, not a fun-sucking authority figure.
Fostering Good Connections
Everyone wants a good relationship with their kids and parent-child communication is clear. You’re not just a friend, but you’re a role model, caregiver and teacher in everything they do. When kids can’t come to you or are unable to be honest with you, it puts a strain on that relationship. They are also less likely to depend on you for help as they age. With truthful communication, you’ll form meaningful relationships that’ll last a lifetime as you guide your child.
How to Improve Communication?
If the quality of your exchange with your child is not ideal, well, it is still possible to improve and turn the tide. Your child may take some time to adjust to these changes, but with practice and a shift towards openness and honesty, you can overcome any communication roadblocks together.
Listen
Improve your listening skills. When was the last time you listened to your child without interrupting or exploding? Let them go on and on. Ask for clarification without judgment. Attend to everything that they feel like sharing, not just the profound and the trivial. But do ask for more, in a non-probing way—tell them you’d like to give them the option, if they’re interested.
Validate
Kids go through a wide range of emotions that may seem overly dramatic to established, mature adults. You have to put yourself in their shoes and understand that they’re not accustomed to these significant life events or big emotions, and it takes time for them to learn to cope with them. Show empathy and sympathy when they experience major emotions. Share what you do when you’re angry, sad, or frustrated. Confirm that they have every right to feel the way they do. When they feel validated, they’re more likely to open up to you.
Lead by Example
It’s a bit intimidating to lay everything on the line when the other side never does. When you relay the struggles you encountered or the tough choices you had to make, they might be inspired to pursue the same! It’s good for your kids to know that their parents aren’t perfect, either.
Don’t Pressure
You’re the boss of your children. Making them talk to you or open up to you isn’t going to take you very far. Open your doors and allow for mental health conversation, but never, ever push it open. It can take a while, but reassuring your child that your love isn’t conditional is a very fruitful avenue.
Control Your Reactions
It’s not always easy to keep your cool when you find out that your son or daughter has made a bad decision or lied to you. You can be disappointed, but it is counterproductive to blow up and scream. Overreacting demonstrates to your partner that you are not a safe place for them to be honest, and that they may need to downplay or refrain from sharing information with you.
Conclusion
It can be challenging to communicate with any individual, but this is especially true when trying to promote honest dialogue between you and your child. You’ll need to demonstrate patience, empathy, and a new level of support. By establishing an environment that encourages open communication, you can keep your child safe, strengthen your relationship and support your child’s mental health.
