A Guardian ad Litem (GAL) is an important person in family court cases. Their job is to look out for a child’s best interests. If you’re dealing with a custody case or any legal matter that involves a GAL, it’s important to know how to talk to them. Saying the wrong thing can hurt your case and make you seem unreliable. This article will explain what you should avoid saying to a GAL and why it matters.
What Should You Say and What Should You Avoid?
Do you know what statements might make you seem like a bad choice for custody? Some words can create doubt about your ability to parent, while others can show that you truly care. Knowing what to say—and what not to say can make a big difference in your case.
Avoid Badmouthing the Other Parent
It’s natural to feel frustrated in a custody case, but speaking poorly about the other parent can backfire. A GAL is there to assess the child’s best interests, not to take sides in a personal dispute. Constant negativity makes you seem bitter, not concerned about your child’s well-being. Instead, focus on facts and your ability to co-parent effectively.
Don’t Lie or Exaggerate
Honesty is key when dealing with a GAL. They have access to court records, school reports, and other sources that can verify what you say. If they catch you in a lie, even a small one, your credibility may be permanently damaged. Always stick to the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Never Say, “I Won’t Follow the Court’s Orders”
Threatening to ignore a court order makes you look uncooperative and defiant. The GAL is looking for a parent who will prioritize the child’s needs and follow legal guidelines. Even if you disagree with a ruling, show that you’re willing to comply while seeking a legal resolution.
Don’t Use Your Child as a Messenger
Saying things like, “My child told me they don’t want to live with their other parent,” puts the child in an unfair position. It makes you look manipulative and can raise concerns about parental alienation. If your child has concerns, let them express them directly to the GAL without pressure.
Avoid Making Unrealistic Demands
Saying, “I want full custody, and I don’t want my ex to see our child at all,” without valid reasons, makes you appear unreasonable. Unless there are serious safety concerns, the court typically favors shared custody. Show that you’re willing to cooperate and do what’s best for your child.
Never Say, “I Don’t Care What My Child Wants”
Disregarding your child’s feelings or preferences makes you seem out of touch with their needs. While the final decision isn’t up to the child, a GAL will consider their perspective. Demonstrate that you respect and support your child’s emotional well-being.
Don’t Brag About Violating Court Agreements
If you say, “I let my child stay up late even though the custody order says otherwise,” it signals that you don’t respect legal agreements. The GAL may question whether you will follow any future orders. Stick to the terms of your custody arrangement, even if you don’t like them.
Avoid Playing the Victim
Statements like, “Everyone is against me,” or “The system is unfair,” won’t help your case. While you may feel frustrated, the GAL is focused on the child’s needs, not your personal grievances. Stay calm, provide evidence, and keep the focus on what’s best for your child.
Don’t Say, “This Is All About Winning”
Custody cases aren’t about winning or losing they’re about the well-being of a child. If you approach the process as a battle rather than a way to find the best solution for your child, the GAL may question your motives. Show that you are willing to work toward a fair and healthy arrangement.
Never Threaten or Intimidate the GAL
Under no circumstances should you threaten, intimidate, or try to manipulate a GAL. Saying something like, “If you don’t side with me, I’ll make sure you regret it,” can have serious legal consequences. Always remain respectful and professional.
Final Thoughts
A Guardian ad Litem has a significant impact on the outcome of your case. The way you communicate with them matters. Keep your conversations respectful, truthful, and focused on your child’s best interests. By avoiding these common mistakes, you’ll present yourself as a responsible, cooperative parent who truly cares about their child’s future.
